The World’s Best Pants

I’m a thrift store dresser through and through and believe secondhand wool to be the styliest, comfiest bargain in winter ready-to-wear fashion today. So I suprised myself a bit by getting some pants from the manufacturer instead of Sally. Damn! I scored the best pair of wool cycling, skiing, walking, woodchopping, dishwashing, sleeping, mechanicing, stargazing, lip-syncing tights of all time! When I first put them on, I though, deng, they itch. But then the next day they didn’t itch any more and haven’t itched since and I’m not even going to tell you how many days I wore them in a row through this chilly wet winter. They auto dry! They never stink! My mom put them in the dryer by accident and they survived fine! I love these pants! If you don’t wear wool pants, you’re a fool I tell you! Let’s hear it for the ethical businessticians over at Blue Bear.
These aren’t my legs.