Our New Campaign to Take Over Personal Communications
I got tired of losing all my addresses in one fell swoop when my address book disappeared. And I don’t fancy carrying around some gizmo that I could easily lose to keep track of my phone numbers. I want fewer gizmos in my life, not more. And I don’t like carrying things, not even a little address book. I want everything I carry to slide into a pocket. So I decided to put all my most-often called numbers into a word document. With the right formatting, it all fits on one page. I print it out on the back of an already-used piece of paper and slip it in the back pocket. When I get a new number, I just write it in pen on the Ass Pilot (like Palm Pilot except you carry it in your back pocket and it doesn’t need batteries, get it?). Every several weeks I update the saved computer document with all the hand-written numbers. If I lose the piece of paper, I only lose the newly entered contacts.
Hints for groovy piloting: (1) use a colored piece of re-used paper so it’s easy to find in a big stack of random white paper (2) print one for your friend who knows some of your friends (3) change the font every once in a while to keep it perky (4) alphebetize! (5) Name in Bold Number not
Not since I pioneered the electronic personal organizer with P.A.L. (Personal Archival Log) in the mid-90′s (only to be beat to market by Palm) have I encountered such a revolutionary concept for personal record keeping. The integration of smart design, practicality and simplicity along with minimal use of natural resources marks the onset of the post-Palm world of personal communications. A masterpiece in engineering.
I had one of those Palm computers, blew $500 on it. What a waste! Aside from the mind-numbing solitaire type cames that were installed on it, it had no functionality beyond what the ass pilot offers. After about two weeks of pretending my new gizmo was a useful addition to my life, I cracked the screen, rendering it useless. I found out it would cost about $300 to fix it…and of course I didn’t buy the ‘extended warranty’. It is now a very fancy looking paper weight. Interestingly enough, I don’t miss the damned thing at all. I never had that many friends or phone numbers to organize anyway.
dude, i totally already do this! good to know there are other dorks out there who think of things like this!
INNOVATION:
1. Fold your ass pilot so the addresses face out. This makes for easy reference when having to check your ass pilot while biking.
ADD-ON:
AssNavigator™ (LA-inspired) – Since google maps doesn’t (yet) provide bicycling directions, but has the best maps around (I use BikeMetro.com, for elevations only at the moment), instead of printing the driving directions, use the map as a reference and chart your own route on a piece of scrap paper as follows:
1. Clearly right the address and phone number of your destination at the top left corer of the page.
2. Right the directions VERY simply on the left side of the paper (i suggest the following format: Direction, Street Name, Distance, e.g. Right Beverly 4.5 miles).
3. Sketch a map on right labeling key streets and reference points. This process makes you visualize your route serving as a pneumonic tool for recall later during your ride.
4. Fold the paper in half horizontally, then veritically.
5. Place folded piece of paper in empty ass pocket adjacent to your AssPilot™. Being in a separate pocket, you won’t have to fumble around to get the right one.
i print my ass pilot in columns and then cut the paper into strips, staple them together for superior slidability.
You’ve just re-re-re-re-reinvented the Hipster PDA (http://43folders.com/2004/09/introducing_the.html)